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Confessiones (PL)

CAPUT VI. Faustus eloquens, sed liberalium disciplinarum expers.

10. Et per annos ferme ipsos novem, quibus eos animo vagabundus audivi, nimis extento desiderio venturum exspectabam istum Faustum. Caeteri enim eorum, in quos forte incurrissem, qui talium rerum quaestionibus a me objectis deficiebant, illum mihi promittebant, cujus adventu collatoque colloquio facillime mihi haec, et si qua forte majora quaererem, enodatissime expedirentur. Ergo ubi venit, expertus sum hominem gratum et jucundum verbis, et ea ipsa quae illi solent dicere, multo suavius garrientem. Sed quid ad meam sitim pretiosiorum poculorum decentissimus ministrator? Jam rebus talibus satiatae erant aures meae; nec ideo mihi meliora videbantur, quia melius dicebantur; nec ideo vera quia diserta; nec ideo sapiens anima, quia vultus congruus et decorum eloquium. Illi autem qui eum mihi promittebant, non boni rerum existimatores erant; et ideo illis videbatur prudens et sapiens, quia delectabat eos loquens. Sensi autem aliud genus hominum etiam veritatem habere suspectam, et ei nolle acquiescere si compto atque uberi sermone promeretur. Me autem jam docueras, Deus meus, miris et occultis modis; et propterea credo quod tu me docueris, quoniam verum est, nec quisquam praeter te alius est doctor veri, ubicumque et undecumque claruerit. Jam ergo abs t didiceram, nec eo debere videri aliquid verum dici, quia eloquenter dicitur; nec eo falsum, quia incomposite sonant signa labiorum: rursus, nec ideo verum, quia impolite enuntiatur, nec ideo falsum, quia splendidus sermo est: sed perinde esse sapientiam et stultitiam, sicut sunt cibi utiles et inutiles; verbis autem ornatis et inornatis sicut vasis urbanis et rusticanis utrosque cibos posse ministrari.

11. Igitur aviditas mea, qua illum tanto tempore exspectaveram hominem, delectabatur quidem motu affectuque disputantis, et verbis congruentibus, atque ad vestiendas sententias facile occurrentibus. Delectabar autem et cum multis, vel etiam prae multis laudabam ac efferebam; sed moleste habebam quod in coetu audientium non sinerer illi ingerere, et partiri cum eo curas quaestionum mearum, conferendo familiariter, et accipiendo ac reddendo sermonem. Quod ubi potui, et aures ejus cum familiaribus meis eoque tempore occupare coepi, quo non dedeceret alternis disserere, et protuli quaedam quae me movebant; expertus sum prius hominem expertem liberalium disciplinarum, nisi grammaticae, atque ejus ipsius usitato modo. Et quia legerat aliquas Tullianas orationes, et paucissimos Senecae libros, et nonnulla poetarum, et suae sectae si qua volumina latine atque composite conscripta erant, et quia aderat quotidiana [Col. 0711] sermocinandi exercitatio; inde suppetebat eloquium, quod fiebat acceptius magisque seductorium moderamine ingenii, et quodam lepore naturali. Itane est ut recolo, Domine Deus meus, arbiter conscientiae meae? Coram te cor meum et recordatio mea, qui me tunc agebas abdito secreto providentiae tuae, et inhonestos errores meos jam convertebas ante faciem meam, ut viderem et odissem.

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The Confessions of St. Augustin In Thirteen Books

Chapter VI.--Faustus Was Indeed an Elegant Speaker, But Knew Nothing of the Liberal Sciences.

10. And for nearly the whole of those nine years during which, with unstable mind, I had been their follower, I had been looking forward with but too great eagerness for the arrival of this same Faustus. For the other members of the sect whom I had chanced to light upon, when unable to answer the questions I raised, always bade me look forward to his coming, when, by discoursing with him, these, and greater difficulties if I had them, would be most easily and amply cleared away. When at last he did come, I found him to be a man of pleasant speech, who spoke of the very same things as they themselves did, although more fluently, and in better language. But of what profit to me was the elegance of my cup-bearer, since he offered me not the more precious draught for which I thirsted? My ears were already satiated with similar things; neither did they appear to me more conclusive, because better expressed; nor true, because oratorical; nor the spirit necessarily wise, because the face was comely and the language eloquent. But they who extolled him to me were not competent judges; and therefore, as he was possessed of suavity of speech, he appeared to them to be prudent and wise. Another sort of persons, however, was, I was aware, suspicious even of truth itself, if enunciated in smooth and flowing language. But me, O my God, Thou hadst already instructed by wonderful and mysterious ways, and therefore I believe that Thou instructedst me because it is truth; nor of truth is there any other teacher--where or whencesoever it may shine upon us ¹ --but Thee. From Thee, therefore, I had now learned, that because a thing is eloquently expressed, it should not of necessity seem to be true; nor, because uttered with stammering lips, should it be false nor, again, perforce true, because unskilfully delivered; nor consequently untrue, because the language is fine; but that wisdom and folly are as food both wholesome and unwholesome, and courtly or simple words as town-made or rustic vessels,--and both kinds of food may be served in either kind of dish.

11. That eagerness, therefore, with which I had so long waited for this man was in truth delighted with his action and feeling when disputing, and the fluent and apt words with which he clothed his ideas. I was therefore filled with joy, and joined with others (and even exceeded them) in exalting and praising him. It was, however, a source of annoyance to me that I was not allowed at those meetings of his auditors to introduce and impart ² any of those questions that troubled me in familiar exchange of arguments with him. When I might speak, and began, in conjunction with my friends, to engage his attention at such times as it was not unseeming for him to enter into a discussion with me, and had mooted such questions as perplexed me, I discovered him first to know nothing of the liberal sciences save grammar, and that only in an ordinary way. Having, however, read some of Tully's Orations, a very few books of Seneca and some of the poets, and such few volumes of his own sect as were written coherently in Latin, and being day by day practised in speaking, he so acquired a sort of eloquence, which proved the more delightful and enticing in that it was under the control of ready tact, and a sort of native grace. Is it not even as I recall, O Lord my God, Thou judge of my conscience? My heart and my memory are laid before Thee, who didst at that time direct me by the inscrutable mystery of Thy Providence, and didst set before my face those vile errors of mine, in order that I might see and loathe them.