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Ad Donatum

4.

These were my frequent thoughts. For as I myself was held in bonds by the innumerable errors of my previous life, from which I did not believe that I could by possibility be delivered, so I was disposed to acquiesce in my clinging vices; and because I despaired of better things, I used to indulge my sins as if they were actually parts of me, and indigenous to me. But after that, by the help of the water of new birth, the stain of former years had been washed away, and a light from above, serene and pure, had been infused into my reconciled heart,--after that, by the agency of the Spirit breathed from heaven, a second birth had restored me to a new man;--then, in a wondrous manner, doubtful things at once began to assure themselves to me, hidden things to be revealed, dark things to be enlightened, what before had seemed difficult began to suggest a means of accomplishment, what had been thought impossible, to be capable of being achieved; so that I was enabled to acknowledge that what previously, being born of the flesh, had been living in the practice of sins, was of the earth earthly, but had now begun to be of God, and was animated by the Spirit of holiness. You yourself assuredly know and recollect as well as I do what was taken away from us, and what was given to us by that death of evil, and that life of virtue. You yourself know this without my information. Anything like boasting in one's own praise is hateful, although we cannot in reality boast but only be grateful for whatever we do not ascribe to man's virtue but declare to be the gift of God; so that now we sin not is the beginning of the work of faith, whereas that we sinned before was the result of human error. All our power is of God; I say, of God. From Him we have life, from Him we have strength, by power derived and conceived from Him we do, while yet in this world, foreknow the indications of things to come. Only let fear be the keeper of innocence, that the Lord, who of His mercy has flowed ¹ into our hearts in the access of celestial grace, may be kept by righteous submissiveness in the hostelry of a grateful mind, that the assurance we have gained may not beget carelessness, and so the old enemy creep upon us again.

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Ad Donatum (CSEL)

§ 4

Haec egomet saepe mecum. nam et ipse quam plurimis uitae prioris erroribus inplicatus tenebar, quibus exui me posse non ¹P. 6 crederem: sic uitiis adhaerentibus obsecundans eram, desperatione meliorum malis meis uelut iam propriis ac uernaculis et fauebam. sed postquam undae genetalis auxilio superioris aeui labe detersa in expiatum pectus ac purum desuper se lumen infudit, postquam caelitus spiritu hausto in nonum me hominem natiuitas secunda reparauit, mirum in modum protinus confirmare se dubia, patere clausa, lucere tenebrosa, facultatem dare quod prius difficile uidebatur, geri posse quod inpossibile putabatur, ut esset agnoscere terrenum fuisse , quod prius carnaliter natum delictis obnoxium uiueret, Dei esse coepisse, quod iam Spiritus sanctus animaret. scis profecto et mecum pariter recognoscis, quid detraxerit nobis quidue contulerit mors ista criminum, uita uirtutum². scis ipse, nec praedico. in proprias laudes odiosa iactatio est: quamuis non iactatum possit esse sed gratum, quicquid non uirtuti hominis adscribitur, sed de Dei munere praedicatur, ut iam non peccare esse , coeperit fidei, quod ante peccatum est, fuerit erroris humani. Dei est, inquam, Dei omne, quod possumus. inde uiuimus, inde pollemus, inde sumpto et concepto uigore hic adhuc positi futurorum indicia praenoscimus: sit tantum timor innocentiae custos, ut qui in mentes nostras indulgentiae caelestis adlapsu clementer Dominus influxit, in animi oblectantis ³P. 7 hospitio iusta operatione teneatur, ne accepta securitas indiligentiam pariat et uetus denuo hostis obrepat.