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Confessiones

Caput 20

Quomodo ergo te quaero, domine? cum enim te, deum meum, quaero, vitam beatam quaero. quaeram te, ut vivat anima mea. vivit enim corpus meum de anima mea, et vivit anima mea de te. quomodo ergo quaero vitam beatam? quia non est mihi, donec dicam: sat, est illic, ubi oportet ut dicam. quomodo eam quaero, utrum per recordationem, tamquam eam oblitus sim oblitumque me esse adhuc teneam, an per appetitum discendi incognitam, sive quam numquam scierim sive quam sic oblitus fuerim, ut me nec oblitum esse meminerim. nonne ipsa est beata vita, quam omnes volunt et omnino qui nolit nemo est? ubi noverunt eam, quod sic volunt eam? ubi viderunt, ut amarent eam? nimirum habemus eam nescio quomodo. et est alius quidam modus, quo quisque cum habet eam, tunc beatus est, et sunt, qui spe beati sunt. inferiore modo isti habent eam quam illi, qui iam re ipsa beati sunt, sed tamen meliores quam illi, qui nec re nec spe beati sunt: qui tamen etiam ipsi nisi aliquo modo haberent eam, non ita vellent beati esse: quod eos velle certissimum est. nescio quomodo noverunt eam ideoque habent eam in nescio qua notitia, de qua satago, utrum in memoria sit, quia, si ibi est, iam beati fuimus aliquando; utrum singillatim omnes, an in illo homine, qui primus peccavit, in quo et omnes mortui sumus et de quo omnes cum miseria nati sumus, non quaero nunc; sed quaero, utrum in memoria sit beata vita. neque enim amaremus eam, nisi nossemus. audivimus nomen hoc et omnes rem, omnes nos adpetere fatemur; non enim solo sono delectamur. nam hoc cum latine audit Graecus, non delectatur, quia ignorat, quid dictum sit; nos autem delectamur, sicut etiam ille, si graece hoc audierit; quoniam res ipsa nec graeca nec latina est, cui adipiscendae Graeci Latinique inhiant ceterarumque linguarum homines. nota est igitur omnibus, qui una voce si interrogari possent, utrum beati esse vellent, sine ulla dubitatione velle responderent. quod non fieret, nisi res ipsa, cuius hoc nomen est, eorum memoria teneretur.

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The Confessions of St. Augustin In Thirteen Books

Chapter XX.--We Should Not Seek for God and the Happy Life Unless We Had Known It.

29. How, then, do I seek Thee, O Lord? For when I seek Thee, my God, I seek a happy life. ¹ I will seek Thee, that my soul may live. ² For my body liveth by my soul, and my soul liveth by Thee. How, then, do I seek a happy life, seeing that it is not mine till I can say, "It is enough!" in that place where I ought to say it? How do I seek it? Is it by remembrance, as though I had forgotten it, knowing too that I had forgotten it? or, longing to learn it as a thing unknown, which either I had never known, or had so forgotten it as not even to remember that I had forgotten it? Is not a happy life the thing that all desire, and is there any one who altogether desires it not? But where did they acquire the knowledge of it, that they so desire it? Where have they seen it, that they so love it? Truly we have it, but how I know not. Yea, there is another way in which, when any one hath it, he is happy; and some there be that are happy in hope. These have it in an inferior kind to those that are happy in fact; and yet are they better off than they who are happy neither in fact nor in hope. And even these, had they it not in some way, would not so much desire to be happy, which that they do desire is most certain. How they come to know it, I cannot tell, but they have it by some kind of knowledge unknown to me, who am in much doubt as to whether it be in the memory; for if it be there, then have we been happy once; whether all individually, or as in that man who first sinned, in whom also we all died, ³ and from whom we are all born with misery, I do not now ask; but I ask whether the happy life be in the memory? For did we not know it, we should not love it. We hear the name, and we all acknowledge that we desire the thing; for we are not delighted with the sound only. For when a Greek hears it spoken in Latin, he does not feel delighted, for he knows not what is spoken; but we are delighted, ⁴ as he too would be if he heard it in Greek; because the thing itself is neither Greek nor Latin, which Greeks and Latins, and men of all other tongues, long so earnestly to obtain. It is then known unto all, and could they with one voice be asked whether they wished to be happy, without doubt they would all answer that they would. And this could not be unless the thing itself, of which it is the name, were retained in their memory.