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Vita Pauli
9.
Sed ut propositum persequar, Antonius coepta regione pergebat, ferarum tantum uestigia intuens et eremi latam uastitatem. Quid ageret, quo uerteret gradum?
Iam altera effluxerat dies. Restabat unum, ut deseri se a Christo non posse confideret. Pernox secundas in oratione exegit tenebras, et dubia adhuc luce haud procul intuetur lupam sitis ardoribus anhelantem ad radicem montis inrepere. Quam secutus oculis et iuxta speluncam, cum fera abiisset, accedens, coepit introspicere, nihil curiositate proficiente, tenebris arcentibus uisum. Verum ut Scriptura ait, 'perfecta dilectio foras mittit timorem.' Suspenso gradu et anhelitu temperato callidus explorator ingressus est, ac paulatim progrediens saepiusque subsistens sonum aure captabat. Tandem per caecae noctis horrorem procul lumen intuitus, dum auidius properat, offensum pede lapidem in strepitum concitauit; post cuius sonitum beatus Paulus ostium quod patebat occludens sera obfirmauit.
Tunc uero Antonius pro foribus corruens, usque ad sextam et eo amplius horam aditum precabatur dicens: 'Qui sim, unde, cur uenerim, nosti. Scio me non mereri conspectum tuum; tamen nisi uidero, non recedam. Qui bestias suscipis, hominem cur repellis? Quaesiui et inueni, pulso ut aperiatur. Quod si non impetro, hic, hic moriar ante postes tuos. Certe sepelies uel cadauer.'
Talia perstabat memorans, fixusque manebat.
Ad quem responsum paucis ita reddidit heros:
'Nemo sic petit ut minetur, nemo cum lacrimis calumniam facit. Et miraris si non recipiam, cum moriturus adueneris?'
Sic adridens patefecit ingressum. Quo aperto dum in mutuos miscentur amplexus, propriis se salutauere nominibus; gratiae Domino in commune referuntur.
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The Life of Paulus the First Hermit
9.
To pursue my proposed story. Antony traversed the region on which he had entered, seeing only the traces of wild beasts, and the wide waste of the desert. What to do, whither to wend his way, he knew not. Another day had now passed. One thing alone was left him, his confident belief that he could not be forsaken by Christ. The darkness of the second night he wore away in prayer. While it was still twilight, he saw not far away a she-wolf gasping with parching thirst and creeping to the foot of the mountain. He followed it with his eyes; and after the beast had disappeared in a cave he drew near and began to look within. His curiosity profited nothing: the darkness hindered vision. But, as the Scripture saith, perfect love casteth out fear. With halting step and bated breath he entered, carefully feeling his way; he advanced little by little and repeatedly listened for the sound. At length through the fearful midnight darkness a light appeared in the distance. In his eager haste he struck his foot against a stone and roused the echoes; whereupon the blessed Paul closed the open door and made it fast with a bar. Then Antony sank to the ground at the entrance and until the sixth hour or later craved admission, saying, “Who I am, whence, and why I have come, you know. I know I am not worthy to look upon you: yet unless I see you I will not go away. You welcome beasts: why not a man? I asked and I have found: I knock that it may be opened to me. But if I do not succeed, I will die here on your threshold. You will surely bury me when I am dead.”
“Such was his constant cry: unmoved he stood.
To whom the hero thus brief answer made” 1
“Prayers like these do not mean threats; there is no trickery in tears. Are you surprised at my not welcoming you when you have come here to die?” Thus with smiles Paul gave him access, and, the door being opened, they threw themselves into each other’s arms, greeted one another by name, and joined in thanksgiving to God.
Virg. Æn. ii, 650, and vi, 672. ↩